MACBETH - THE FACEBOOK VERSION - ACT ONE, SCENES 1-3

Patrick McGuire and William Shakespeare are now friends. They met through the Bards You May Know tool.

Event: to meet MacBeth
Tagline: "When shall we three meet again In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
Network: Three Witches Coven
Organiser: First Witch
Attending: Second Witch, Third Witch
Maybe Attending: MacBeth
Time: When the hurlyburly's done, When the battle's lost and won. That will be ere the set of sun.

FIRST WITCH thinks fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and filthy air
Second Witch posted: you go girl!

MERCILESS MACDONWALD, THE THANE OF CAWDOR and THE KING OF NORWAY joined the group "King Duncan Must Die!"
BLOODY SERGEANT, MACBETH, ROSS, AND BANQUO joined the group "1 MILLION STRONG FOR KING DUNCAN"
MERCILESS MACDONAWALD joined the group " I was born in the western Isles "

DUNCAN wrote on MALCOLM'S wall
"What bloody man is that? He can report,
As seemeth by his plight, of the revolt
The newest state."

MALCOLM wrote on DUNCAN'S wall
"This is the sergeant
Who like a good and hardy soldier fought
'Gainst my captivity. Hail, brave friend!"

DUNCAN and BLOODY SERGEANT are now friends. MALCOLM suggested this. Suggest more friends for DUNCAN.

MALCOLM wrote on BLOODY SERGEANT's wall:
"Say to the king the knowledge of the broil
As thou didst leave it."

BLOODY SERGEANT wrote on DUNCAN's wall
Doubtful it stood;
As two spent swimmers, that do cling together
And choke their art. The merciless Macdonwald--
Worthy to be a rebel, for to that
The multiplying villanies of nature
Do swarm upon him--from the western isles
Of kerns and gallowglasses is supplied;
And fortune, on his damned quarrel smiling,
Show'd like a rebel's whore: but all's too weak:
For brave Macbeth--well he deserves that name--
Disdaining fortune, with his brandish'd steel,
Which smoked with bloody execution,
Like valour's minion carved out his passage
Till he faced the slave;
Which ne'er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him,
Till he unseam'd him from the nave to the chaps,
And fix'd his head upon our battlements.

BLOODY SERGEANT joined the group "I bet I can find a million people that hate Merciless MacDonwald"
BLOODY SERGEANT became a fan of MACBETH.

THE KING OF NORWAY joined the group 'I secretly want homeless people to be Vikings'
MRS MACDONWALD joined the group "RIP Merciless MacDonwald, we will remember you"
MRS MACDONWALD joined the group "MacDonwald has to be the least common name on facebook"
MACBETH just dominated a NaveUnseaming board. You better not let this feat go unchallenged.

DUNCAN wrote on BLOODY SERGEANTS wall
O valiant cousin! worthy gentleman!

DUNCAN and MACBETH are now friends

DUNCAN created the group I secretly want The Vikings to be homeless people

BLOODY SERGEANT wrote on DUNCAN's wall

As whence the sun 'gins his reflection
Shipwrecking storms and direful thunders break,
So from that spring whence comfort seem'd to come
Discomfort swells. Mark, king of Scotland, mark:
No sooner justice had with valour arm'd
Compell'd these skipping kerns to trust their heels,
But the Norweyan lord surveying vantage,
With furbish'd arms and new supplies of men
Began a fresh assault.

MACBETH is dismayed

BANQUO is verily shitting himself

DUNCAN wrote on BLOODY SERGEANT's walDismay'd not this

Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo?

SERGEANT wrote on DUNCAN's wall

Yes; As sparrows eagles, or the hare the lion.
If I say sooth, I must report they were
As cannons overcharged with double cracks, so they
Doubly redoubled strokes upon the foe:
Except they meant to bathe in reeking wounds,
Or memorise another Golgotha,
I cannot tell.
But I am faint, my gashes cry for help.

DUNCAN joined the group 'unlike most people on facebook, I was born in the 11th century'

DUNCAN wrote on BLOODY SERGEANT's wall

So well thy words become thee as thy wounds;
They smack of honour both. Go get him surgeons.

BLOODY SERGEANT is off to A&E. What a day!

LADY MACBETH posted: Get well soon, hun!

MALCOLM wrote on ROSS's wall

The worthy thane of Ross.

LENNOX wrote on MALCOLM's WALL

What a haste looks through his eyes! So should he look
That seems to speak things strange.

ROSS wrote on DUNCAN's WALL

God save the king!

DUNCAN wrote on ROSS's wall

Whence camest thou, worthy thane?

ROSS wrote on DUNCAN's wall

From Fife, great king;
Where the Norweyan banners flout the sky
And fan our people cold. Norway himself,
With terrible numbers,
Assisted by that most disloyal traitor
The thane of Cawdor, began a dismal conflict;
Till that Bellona's bridegroom, lapp'd in proof,
Confronted him with self-comparisons,
Point against point rebellious, arm 'gainst arm.
Curbing his lavish spirit: and, to conclude,
The victory fell on us.

DUNCAN wrote on Ross's wall

Great happiness!

ROSS wrote on DUNCAN's wall

That now
Sweno, the Norways' king, craves composition:
Nor would we deign him burial of his men
Till he disbursed at Saint Colme's inch
Ten thousand dollars to our general use.

BLOODY SERGEANT thought the battlefield was dangerous till he got to A&E on a Friday night

DUNCAN wrote on ROSS's wall

No more that thane of Cawdor shall deceive
Our bosom interest: go pronounce his present death,
And with his former title greet Macbeth.

DUNCAN compared friends. Click here to check out your social profile

ROSS wrote on DUNCAN's wall

I'll see it done.

DUNCAN wrote on ROSS's wall

What he hath lost noble Macbeth hath won

SECOND WITCH is killing swine

FIRST WITCH posted a note:

A sailor's wife had chestnuts in her lap,
And munch'd, and munch'd, and munch'd:--
'Give me,' quoth I:
'Aroint thee, witch!' the rump-fed ronyon cries.
Her husband's to Aleppo gone, master o' the Tiger:
But in a sieve I'll thither sail,
And, like a rat without a tail,
I'll do, I'll do, and I'll do.

SECOND WITCH commented on FIRST WITCH'S note:

I'll give thee a wind.

FIRST WITCH commented on her note:

Thou'rt kind.

THIRD WITCH commented on FIRST WITCH'S note:

And I another.

FIRST WITCH commented on her note:

I myself have all the other,
And the very ports they blow,
All the quarters that they know
I' the shipman's card.
I will drain him dry as hay:
Sleep shall neither night nor day
Hang upon his pent-house lid;
He shall live a man forbid:
Weary se'nnights nine times nine
Shall he dwindle, peak and pine:
Though his bark cannot be lost,
Yet it shall be tempest-tost.
Look what I have.

BLOODY SERGEANT thought the battlefield was dangerous till he got to A&E on a Friday night

SECOND WITCH commented on FIRST WITCH'S note:

Show me, show me.

FIRST WITCH commented on her note

Here I have a pilot's thumb,
Wreck'd as homeward he did come.

SECOND WITCH and First Witch added the application “Thumb Wars”

Third Witch sent a message to SECOND WITCH and FIRST WITCH

A drum, a drum!
Macbeth doth come.

ALL

The weird sisters, hand in hand,
Posters of the sea and land,
Thus do go about, about:
Thrice to thine and thrice to mine
And thrice again, to make up nine.
Peace! the charm's wound up.

MACBETH has not seen so foul and fair a day

BANQUO is looking up google maps.

BANQUO wrote on MACBETH's wall

How far is't call'd to Forres? What are these
So wither'd and so wild in their attire,
That look not like the inhabitants o' the earth,
And yet are on't?

BANQUO wrote on THIRD WITCHES wall

Live you? or are you aught
That man may question? You seem to understand me,
By each at once her chappy finger laying
Upon her skinny lips: you should be women,
And yet your beards forbid me to interpret
That you are so.

Banquo joined the group 'I once saw a woman with a beard and it still freaks me out!'

MACBETH wrote on the wall of the group Three Witches Coven

Write on my wall, if you can: what are you?

First Witch wrote on Macbeth's wall

All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis!

Second Witch wrote on Macbeth's wall

All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor!

Third Witch wrote on Macbeth's wall

All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter!

MacBeth is rather perturbed by predictions of being King

BANQUO wrote on MacBeth's wall

Good sir, why do you start; and seem to fear
Things that do sound so fair? I' the name of truth,
Are ye fantastical, or that indeed
Which outwardly ye show? My noble partner
You greet with present grace and great prediction
Of noble having and of royal hope,

Banquo wrote on the wall of group The Witches Coven

That he seems rapt withal: you write not on my wall.
If you can look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow and which will not,
Post then to me, who neither beg nor fear
Your favours nor your hate.

First Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Hail!

Second Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Hail!

Banquo joined the group "campaign to remove the annoying 'art' from the start of status messages"

Third Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Hail!

First Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Lesser than Macbeth, and greater.

First witch compared friends. she voted Macbeth a better friend, and Banquo a better friend.

Second Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Not so happy, yet much happier.

Third Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none:
So all hail, Macbeth and Banquo!

First Witch wrote on Banquo's wall

Banquo and Macbeth, all hail!

Banquo is getting spammed. The Thane of Cawdor thinks rumours of death are greatly exaggerated.

MACBETH wrote on the wall of the group Three Witches Coven

Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more:
By Sinel's death I know I am thane of Glamis;
But how of Cawdor? the thane of Cawdor lives,
A prosperous gentleman; and to be king
Stands not within the prospect of belief,
No more than to be Cawdor. Say from whence
You owe this strange intelligence? or why
Upon this blasted heath you stop our way
With such prophetic greeting? Write on my wall, I charge you.

First Witch is invisible. mwahahahaha
Second Witch is logging out.
Third witch is giving up facebook for lent.

BANQUO wrote on Macbeth's wall

The earth hath bubbles, as the water has,
And these are of them. Whither are they vanish'd?

MACBETH wrote on Macbeth's wall

Into the air; and what seem'd corporal melted
As breath into the wind. Would they had stay'd!

BANQUO wrote on Macbeth's wall

Were such things here as we do speak about?
Or have we eaten on the insane root
That takes the reason prisoner?

Macbeth could really go some insane root about now.
Banquo joined the group "Legalize insane root!"

MACBETH wrote on Banquo's wall

Your children shall be kings.

BANQUO wrote on Macbeth's wall

You shall be king.

MACBETH wrote on Banquo's wall

And thane of Cawdor too: went it not so?

BANQUO wrote on MacBeth

To the selfsame tune and words.

ROSS wrote on Macbeth's wall

The king hath happily received, Macbeth,
The news of thy success; and when he reads
Thy personal venture in the rebels' fight,
His wonders and his praises do contend
Which should be thine or his: silenced with that,
In viewing o'er the rest o' the selfsame day,
He finds thee in the stout Norweyan ranks,
Nothing afeard of what thyself didst make,
Strange images of death. As thick as hail
Came post with post; and every one did bear
Thy praises in his kingdom's great defence,
And pour'd them down before him.

ANGUS wrote on Macbeth's wall

We are sent
To give thee from our royal master thanks;
Only to herald thee into his sight,
Not pay thee.

ROSS wrote on Macbeth's wall

And, for an earnest of a greater honour,
He bade me, from him, call thee thane of Cawdor:
In which addition, hail, most worthy thane!
For it is thine.

The Thane of Cawdor wrote on the wall of the group The Cawdor Resident's Association.

BANQUO wrote on Macbeth's wall

What, can the devil speak true?

MACBETH wrote on Angus's wall

The thane of Cawdor lives: why do you dress me In borrow'd robes?

ANGUS wrote on Macbeth's wall

Who was the thane lives yet;
But under heavy judgment bears that life
Which he deserves to lose. Whether he was combined
With those of Norway, or did line the rebel
With hidden help and vantage, or that with both
He labour'd in his country's wreck, I know not;
But treasons capital, confess'd and proved,
Have overthrown him.

MACBETH is Glamis, and thane of Cawdor! The greatest is behind.

Macbeth wrote on Ross's wall

Thanks for your pains.

Macbeth wrote on Banquo's wall

Do you not hope your children shall be kings,
When those that gave the thane of Cawdor to me
Promised no less to them?

The Thane Of Cawdor joined the group Death Penalty Abolitionists

BANQUO wrote on MacBeths' wall

That trusted home
Might yet enkindle you unto the crown,
Besides the thane of Cawdor. But 'tis strange:
And oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray's
In deepest consequence.
Cousins, a word, I pray you.

BANQUO is a bit skeptical

MACBETH thinks two truths are told, As happy prologues to the swelling act Of the imperial theme

Macbeth posted a note

Cannot be ill, cannot be good: if ill,
Why hath it given me earnest of success,
Commencing in a truth? I am thane of Cawdor:
If good, why do I yield to that suggestion
Whose horrid image doth unfix my hair
And make my seated heart knock at my ribs,
Against the use of nature? Present fears
Are less than horrible imaginings:
My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical,
Shakes so my single state of man that function
Is smother'd in surmise, and nothing is
But what is not.

BANQUO is noticing how our partner's rapt

MACBETH thinks change will have me king, why chance may crown me. without my stir

BANQUO art thinking new horrors come upon him, Like our strange garments, cleave not to their mould. But with the aid of use.

MACBETH | Come what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day.

BANQUO wrote on MacBeth's wall

Worthy Macbeth, we stay upon your leisure.

MACBETH wrote on Banquo's wall

Give me your favour: my dull brain was wrought
With things forgotten. Kind gentlemen, your pains
Are register'd where every day I turn
The leaf to read them. Let us toward the king.
Think upon what hath chanced, and, at more time,
The interim having weigh'd it, let us speak
Our free hearts each to other.

BANQUO wrote on MacBeth's wall

Very gladly xxx

MACBETH has had enough. come, friends.